I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul. Psalm 142:4
That verse has always expressed a deep sadness for me. I too have felt utterly alone in the world; abandoned by those I loved and even by those paid to care for my soul. So when I recently read in Matthew 27 the account of Judas’ repentance and confession, tears of compassion came quickly.
With his heart full of remorse Judas goes back to the chief priests and elders, he throws the silver pieces on the floor and makes his desperate confession, “4 saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” His heart was breaking for a drop of grace or mercy to quench the fire that was beginning to lap at his soul. But instead of being instructed on how to find forgiveness his spiritual elders cruelly abandon his lost soul, “And they said, “What is that to us? You see to it!” They were the ones who had led Judas down this path of perdition as they invited him into their plan to condemn Jesus. Their own words identify their culpability, “6 But the chief priests took the silver pieces and said, “It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, because they are the price of blood.”
Poor Judas, without any hope he ends his life.
Yes, there are many things we could say about the theology of this passage and wiser people have debated those thoughts. However, none can debate the terrible and cruel failure of the spiritual leaders in this passage. Leaders are responsible for much and yes they are only humans after all. Do you find yourself like me, having to forgive those who are given the charge of caring for your soul? We know what Judas should have done. He should have gone back to Jesus, like Peter had done and like we will do today. For Jesus is our high priest and our saviour.
His promise to us today is:
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Matthew 6:14, 15 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”